An Honest Perspective
the agony of breaking through personal limitations is the agony of spiritual growth. - Joseph Cambell
When I started outlining this piece in my head, I was going to talk about taking in some perspective to help you see just how good your life is. It’s a simple concept that I hold dear. Hardcore history, vice documentaries, world war ii books, and the list can go one for ever. There is no shortage of ‘dark’ material for us to learn and fill our heads with (see my list of dark things over at the ANGER post). I believe it’s good to do that.
If we don’t understand the darkness, we can’t treasure the light.
I woke up and felt like the following was the perspective I was supposed to write about. And I really don’t want to. But not making art isn’t a habit I’m into, so here we go.
Over the past 8 years—I know because having a kid deeply changes you—things started collecting in my mind on ways to improve myself and ways to improve those around me. I spent years learning—not just in the ‘it’s been eight years’ sense, but if I added up the hours, they would be years. For months on end, I consumed:
Joeseph Cambell
Carl Jung
Seneca
Epictetus
Marcus Aurelius
Cato
Cicero
and on
and on
and on
Thought provoking, life-changing works of writing. So I started trying to put them into place one at a time. Kind of like an obsession.
And I try really hard
- I take regular walks
- I watch the morning and evening sun
- I journal regularly
- I do daily breath-work
- I meditate
- I take in as much darkness as I can tolerate, helping me understand my situation is great compared to all of history.
- I have clear boundaries for work
- I work out every single day
- I read thought-provoking authors on performance and mental health
- I rarely consume alcohol
- I drink coffee every other day
- I don’t use THC**
- I have a lovely family.
- I have an absolute model spouse
- I am shown unconditional love daily
- I have land.
- I have a soon to be off grid homestead
- I have kids that bring me joy and levity
- I eat well
- I cultivate healthy communities of creatives and caring people around me (even online)
- I analyze my motives and adjust accordingly
- I process those adjustments and adjust the adjustments
- I tweak
- I revamp
- I learn
- I do my best to stay off any screens after the sun goes down
- I read
- I write
- I listen to wisdom
- I plan
- I re-listen to that same wisdom
- I am generous
- I am selfless
- I hope for the best in people
- I have healthy reservations about certain people I feel are fake
- I listen to my gut when it tells me things
- I practice honesty in relationships (even online)
- I don’t multitask
- I focus on one. Single. Thing.
- I fight for injustice
- I care for the outcast
- I mend the broken
- I heal through creativity
- I fight for what is good and true and beautiful
- I care for the orphan
- I make space for the elderly to be heard and seen
- I listen to the unlistenable
- I deeply care for all humanity
- I practice creativity daily
- I photograph
- I sing
- I play music
- I earnestly read Jesus’ words
- I write ideas
- I have moderate use of nicotine to improve cognitive function, memory and reduce my chance of Parkinson’s disease
- I strive for perfection while holding a tenuous grasp on the ever fleeting definition of that word, ‘perfection’
- I call my mom every single week
- I make space to care for my father in the best way I know
- I say nice things to people when I think of them
- I express daily gratitude
- I break colossal tasks up into small bit size pieces so I can swallow them easier
- I build things
- I make safe spaces
I do all these things because I know that makes a better life. A life that’s happier and healthy. A life that doesn’t feel gross but looks like artful acceptance and interaction with the world around. It’s all done with purpose and knowledge that these things will help me.
But I’m still not doing well.
It’s like running in quicksand.
The work I’m doing for Wilco is taking a mental toll and my brokenness is oozing out of the corners of my life.
i hate that
- I make promises and don’t keep them
- I take all day to do one task
- I eat my feelings
- I binge play COD mobile
- I watch documentaries telling myself I’m ‘learning’
- I procrastinate
- I get depressive days
- I spiral down into oblivion in the middle of the night
- I feel shitty
- I get sad
- I get angry
- I get mean
- I isolate
- I emotionally and physically freeze
- I don’t stretch
- I have back spasms weekly
The length of the above list could’ve been 100x longer had I not implemented the first list.
This work is laborious.
and I love it.
I don’t know how to end this because I haven’t figured out the ending. I guess we’ll just have to wait and see.
Well…
The ending is death, but that won’t be for a while; I don’t think.
but who knows?
What If I left you when an AI generated story about perspective? Would that be good? It’s certainly a sign of the times.
Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, there was a shrewd entrepreneur who had just launched a new product. One fine day, a major client withdrew from a deal, causing the entrepreneur to lose a considerable amount of revenue. The entrepreneur, however, was not one to lose heart easily, for they knew that success was not always what it seemed.
As the days went by, the entrepreneur watched with keen interest as their product spread across the land. Word of their innovative creation soon reached the ears of a powerful influencer, who praised it far and wide on social media, causing a surge in sales and popularity.
But the entrepreneur was not one to be easily swayed by the winds of fortune, for they knew that perspective was the key to understanding the actions of others. And so they watched, with a wise eye and a steady hand, as their product became the talk of the town and the darling of the media.
As the demands of their growing business took their toll on the entrepreneur’s team, causing some to burn out and quit, the entrepreneur remained calm and simply said, “We’ll see.”
For the entrepreneur knew that success was not without its pitfalls and that the path to greatness was often strewn with unexpected obstacles. And so they watched, with a patient eye and a steady hand, as their investors came to console them on their team’s loss.
Days turned into weeks, and weeks turned into months, and still the entrepreneur remained steadfast in their resolve, for they knew that genuine success lay not in the result, but in the journey itself.
And so it was not the fame, the fortune, or the glory that the entrepreneur valued the most, but the lessons learned along the way, the friendships forged, and the wisdom gained. For they knew that in the ever-changing world of business, it was not what you accomplished that mattered most, but how you got there.
And so the entrepreneur continued on their path, ever vigilant, ever wise, and ever ready to face whatever the future may hold.
theend
**at the moment; check back in 60 days