Self Care
“Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass under trees on a summer's day, listening to the murmur of the water, or watching the clouds float across the sky, is by no means a waste of time.”
― John Lubbock
Seems like I’ve always been working, I literally started working at 6 or 7 with my parents janitorial work. I got paid $2 a day. No bills. No food cost. $2 a day. That’s not half bad. I spend half my paycheck every month on rent currently so all in all not terrible pay. I’m such a huge proponent of working your butt off until the end of the age. The hardest thing for me to do is schedule in some rest time on the regular. And I really do have to schedule it because I’ll work myself into sickness. This is where it helps to have a wonderful wife that tells you that you are being stupid and working too much. That’s my solution. I don’t have wisdom in resting well. I know it’s important but I just lucked into a wife that is blunt about my lack of self care. You all should get one!
I must’ve been 8 or 9 when Mrs. Woolever passed. Even though my grandmother had died when I was 6 or so, this was the first time I remember feeling the closeness and finality of death. My family was over at her house to listen to her play organ and maybe, if she was resolute enough, teach me and my brother a thing or two about playing piano and reading music. She started by singing and playing hymns but soon after her left hand wasn’t hitting the keys anymore and then she started slowly falling backwards off of the piano bench. She was having a stroke but I had no idea what was going on. It wasn’t until later that night that my dad told us she had passed. A flurry of thoughts rushed into my brain but mainly it was just confusion.
Oh my, that’s intense. Sorry, but I think that story lays some ground work for why I am the way I am. I have, more recently, looked at life as a countdown timer. I look at each passing second as a moment I will never get back. I really do think death should be something that motivates us to live in the moment and take care to make the most out of every second. Death gives us structure. We only have so much time that is given to us so we must make the most out of it. Those ideas you have about making greeting cards or taking a risk and starting your own business, they will either get done by you or someone else. The odd thing about death is not knowing when or how it will attack. It could be any moment for any of us yet we say ‘yes’ to things that don’t inspire or lift us up. How come? Why not fill your mind with the kindness and joy of a book or art rather than the anxiety fueling 24hr news cycle? We can. It just take saying ‘yes’ to it. You have way more control than you think you do.
“The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.”
― Mark Twain